You’ve always known that this day would come, but maybe you didn’t expect it to be so soon, or maybe you just aren’t emotionally prepared for it. You can’t stop the butterflies of young love, however, so here are just a few tips for facing it head-on.
1. Stay Calm
This is the single most important aspect of talking to your children about sex and dating. If you get angry, upset, stressed or obsessively vigilant, your kids are going to think that you aren’t ready to have these conversations, and they’ll quit trying. They’ll take their questions and concerns to someone who won’t make mountains out of molehills.
2. Decide the Rules Together
Instead of laying down the law, invite your child to the dining room table and work out some reasonable, mutually-agreed dating guidelines. For example, maybe they can extend their curfew by 30 minutes on date nights, but they’ll lose this privilege if they abuse it. They’ll be much more likely to follow the rules if they understand them and agree that they’re fair.
3. Discuss Healthy Relationships
Get specific. Your child has probably heard things like “find a partner who respects you,” but how do they define respect? What should they say or do in a situation where they aren’t being respected? If their date ever makes them feel unsafe, what’s the appropriate course of action? Go over these things in advance so that your child will have a plan to fall back on if something goes wrong.
4. Open the Door for Sex Talk
If your children want to talk about sex, virginity or birth control, they should know that you’re always available to answer questions. On the flip side, however, you don’t want to force these topics on them if they’re not ready. You might give them unfounded fears if you’re talking about chlamydia when they haven’t even held hands in the classroom.
5. Talk About Abuse
You’ll need to handle this topic with sensitivity since your child might get offended at the thought that their boyfriend or girlfriend is capable of abuse. They won’t have the real-world experience to realize that some relationships start off great but devolve over time. Make it clear that you aren’t accusing anyone of anything; you just want them to know the warning signs as a precaution.
6. Meet The Parents
This is a great way to foster healthy, supportive relationships in you and your child’s social circle. Get to know the parents of their new sweetheart. Talk to them about rules and expectations; arrange for age-appropriate activities that your children can do together. Take any thrilling taboo out of their love life.
7. Share Resources
Your kids are going to have questions that they aren’t comfortable asking you. Instead of trying to force the issue, give them access to doctors, counselors and health experts that will share accurate information even if you aren’t there to supervise. For example, tell your children about STD testing facilities in the area.
These are just a few tips for surviving your child’s dating years. It doesn’t have to be traumatic! Be open, honest and accessible, and you might find that it’s a lot easier to deal with than you thought.
Author Bio: Paige Jirsa– I work with https://stdtestingfacilities.com/, which provides users same day STD testing in a discrete and proficient manner.
